The value of example in raising children

Our society shows us the new face of the family. Communication between parents and children often takes place virtually. New codes and languages are being born that must be grasped and are part of the great revolution we are experiencing. There is a democratization of relationships that must be understood and managed by all educational agencies. Each parent experiences parenting differently and this affects their children.

I was very struck by the article written by journalist Sophia Crotti, published on fanpage.co.uk, reporting on the study conducted by the University of Washington on 276 adolescents.

Data attest that for kids, example and open dialogue with parents is indeed important. The research carried out by the University of Washington, and published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies, highlighted that children “should not only be given limits in words, but also in deeds.”

Parents need to be consistent and authoritative. Nearly “300 adolescents between the ages of 13 and 17 were involved in the study to specifically understand their relationship with drugs.”

“Thirty-two percent of respondents suspected not only that their fathers were supportive of cannabis use but also that they used it, the same imagined 26 percent of them for their mothers.” Stacey JT Hust, lead author of the research, said, “Parents need to realize that their example in raising their children is crucial, if teenagers start thinking that mom and dad use substances, even occasionally they tend to do so themselves regardless of whether their belief is well-founded or not.”

In addition, the research also found that “adolescents’ tendency to use cannabis varied depending on whether they had a closer relationship with their mother, rather than their father. Teens in closer relationships with cannabis-consuming mothers were more likely to use the substance, while teens related to cannabis-concerned, non-smoking mothers were found to be very afraid of the substance and intent on never using it in their lives. Whereas boys who had a close relationship or bond primarily with dads in their lives, regardless of whether the man did or did not use substances, seemed less afraid of cannabis and more likely to use it.” A relevant report that indicates how necessary parental presence is.

Willoughby, another signatory to the study, stressed, “Constant monitoring and open discussion, including at the dinner table, about the dangers of certain substances are key to protecting one’s adolescent children.”

There is no doubt that there is an emergency related to education, values and feelings that needs to be acted upon immediately. An attempt must be made to re-establish an order in the educational approach that cannot be the current one.

We are used to dealing with deviance or problems in the wrong way because we tend to have repressive attitudes. In fact, the essential aspect is missing, which is that of prevention, awareness raising and continuing education of youth and adults.

The transformation of educational processes must involve all actors in society: institutions, politics, families, schools, universities and the world of associations. Initiatives must be accompanied by concrete, useful and sure results.

New generations must be educated to respect their own lives and the lives of others. Grown-ups should be a point of reference for boys and girls and should remember that they have a responsibility to care for the physical-intellectual-moral development of the men and women of the future.

The article The value of example in raising children comes from TheNewyorker.