“Human ties have been replaced by connections. While ties require commitment, connecting and disconnecting is child’s play,” is how sociologist Zygmunt Bauman described human ties and anticipated what is happening in contemporary society.
For many years now, as a sociologist of communication, my attention has dwelt on the study of social ties. Capitalist, I would say consumerist, society has succeeded in challenging them.
So many stories are born on social networks and are experienced virtually behind a screen. The superficiality of relationships is seen in some phenomena such as “ghosting,” “caspering,” “zombieng,” “love bombing,” or “benching.” Vocabularies in the English language that deal with ways to manage or break off a relationship. The relationship is dismissed without explanation, and this can also happen in friendship or in business.
My sociological investigations have shown that there is a lack of awareness of one’s own emotions and associated attitudes and an inability to relate to the emotions of others. Teenagers prefer to experience their first sexual relationship online, and this should give us pause. Adults have abandoned the idea of monogamy to engage in polyamory and polyamorous relationships. A communicative-relational dynamic that leads to individualism and self-centeredness.
I really appreciated an article written by researcher Enzo Risso, published in The Tomorrow, which highlighted what is happening to social relationships.
A new study by Ipsos global Advisor, carried out in 30 countries, allows us to analyze the quality of Italians’ social and family relationships with those of citizens in other countries and allows us to focus on the health of social capital in Italy.
I was really struck by the percentages related to sexual, romantic and friendship relationships. “In Italy, 52 percent of people are satisfied. A figure that puts Italians in third to last place along with Canada (52), South Korea (45) and Japan (37). Leading the sentimental relationship fulfillment rankings are citizens of India and Mexico (76 percent). The top European country is Spain (70), followed by the Netherlands (64) and Great Britain (63). France is at 61 percent, slightly below Ireland (60), Belgium and Sweden (58). Similar levels to Italy are found in Germany (54) and Hungary (53).”
While with regard to friendship relationships, the situation is somewhat different. Risso writes that: “Satisfaction ranks Italians second to last (63 percent), surpassed only by the Japanese (55). Leading the levels of satisfaction with the quality of friendships are residents of Peru and Indonesia (85 percent), followed by South Africa and Thailand (83). In third place are Dutch and Irish (82). Further below: English (81), Spanish (79), Polish (77), German and French (76), Swedish (75), Belgian (71), and Hungarian (70).”
Unfortunately, the situation does not improve in relationships either. In fact, Italy ranks third to last with 72 percent of people satisfied.
Risso highlights that the picture reveals “a systemic and overall fragility of the social capital of Italians who feel limitedly loved,” as only 63 percent say they feel loved.
Feeling unloved leads to isolation, lack of trust, individualism and selfishness and other consequences. We are all getting used to glazing over our lives. Every day, we realize how much some models of social networks are based on a system of anxious relationships that are no longer relationships between individuals, but relationships between individuals and their followers. We look at people as if they were objects in a catalog. We use others and then delete them from our lives, as if a simple “click” were enough.
Bauman warned us, “Liquid love is just that: a love divided between the desire for excitement and the fear of connection,” and indeed so many no longer believe in true and sincere relationships, and this is unacceptable.
We must rediscover the importance and beauty of basic knowledge and begin to approach emotional relationships with respect and responsibility. We cannot leave room for the many “isms” that surround us such as subjectivism, individualism and selfishness. We need to regain trust and hope, because there are still those who know the value of love and are able to give themselves to others.
The article Italians feel limitedly loved comes from TheNewyorker.
